"Not. Tall."

If you've never experienced rain on only half a building, it's a pretty surreal sort of experience. You swear that some joker must have turned a fire-hose on the one side. But that is the reality of island weather. If the weather report calls for rain, it does so in 30 second intervals. And there is every possibility that you will watch a line of pavement trace itself dark inches from your feet, while you remain bone dry.

I walked into Shitooke Elementary school, knowing little more than they has asked me to take the bus, instead of sending a car like the other elementary schools. I chatted with the bus driver for half the ride, mostly about my life on Kikai, though with an occasional incredibly odd aside about a) why everyone was crying at Michael Jackson's funeral, then b) doping in competitive track and field. I really don't think I can comfortably answer those in English, so me answering them in Japanese amounted to "He was many populars, and has much influence to American music" and "I think humans can go fast. Maybe they are not drugs?" ...can someone old get on the bus now so I have an excuse to give up my seat and move to the back? Before you ask me to explain human anatomy?

The first class I had in Shitooke was this odd mix of 12 ghosts, and 4 hurricanes. I walk into the classroom and 4 highly excitable 10-11 year old boys start screaming "SE GA TAKAI!" (He's tall). Feeling fresh and teacherly I explain in English "No! Not tall! Short." while I mime tall and short. But, as with all things in Japan, wily spirits cause the children to hear the following:

No. Natto. Short.

Natto is a Japanese breakfast food made by taking soybeans and forgetting about them. Then remembering them years later and deciding the layers of slime and the odd half-feet half-bodily secretion smell are charming, delicious even, especially when mixed with a raw egg, and some mayo. It is my culinary arch-nemesis. For the rest of the day at this particular school, I had these four violations of conservation of momentum screaming out "Nat-tooooooo!" "NAT-TOOOOOO!" just about every time they saw me. I tried to explain several times, even in Japanese:

No NO "Not. Tall. Not. Tall." They would say it once then return to the version which was clearly more correct, and more fun to say.

As the day progressed you'd hear it being shouted down halls while I was in different classes. Nat-tooooo! By the end of the day the whole school was doing it.

It just got funnier and funnier.

My job is awesome.

Nat-tooooo!