Chindogu

珍度具 (Chindogu) is a Japanese word defining an invention which on the surface appears to solve a problem or serve a useful function, but in fact creates additional problems or would be incredibly embarrassing or cumbersome to actually use. All sorts of fantastically weird inventions have been produced, from slippers for your cat so that it can help with the housework, to an all day tissue dispenser which essentially amounts to a roll of toilet paper attached to your head. One of the chindogu I seriously considered putting together while living in Tokyo was a plunger that attaches to your head, which you can then attach to a train window, to prevent you from slumping into any number of the hilarious yet oh so embarrassing positions in which Tokyo train-goers are often found. Here's a website I found with some examples. Read the linked to articles about the feud between a random Chinese Jessica Alba lookalike and Jessica Alba at your own peril.


At any rate, I was lead to believe that chindogu is somewhat of an enthusiasts hobby here in Japan. People do it basically for the thrill of making something completely, to use their lingo "unuseless". or at least this is what I was lead to believe until about 10 minutes ago. I'm watching Japanese infomercials, or rather something like "the top 30 most seemingly useful but actually totally chindogu kitchen appliances". From the combination shabu-shabu, yakiniku plate, to the home yogurt maker, to the "mysterious plate" which allows you to fry things in the microwave, these are some of the most chindogu things I have ever seen, presented in such a questionably serious fashion. They even have the little Japanese "tarento" in the corner gasping and wowing along, although to give them credit half the time the look in their eyes is certainly one of "If I hold the laughter in for another second I may die." Oh man, it just ended and now they're talking about it all. First comment: "well, the names of the products were really good."

There is pretty much nothing good on Japanese TV, ever. It's like an elaborate satire, a meta-satire even because eventually you have to start reminding yourself just how ridiculous it is to be watching a team of questionably famous people answer questions while running back and forth between a toy train track where a train with a needle on the front threatens to pop a balloon unless you lift the balloon out of the way every 15 seconds or so when it makes a lap. It gets normal.

But for all its inherent fluffiness, it is absolutely fascinating, and man does it ever make for some amazing background noise. I could half-watch Japanese tv forever. Maybe that's what it's designed for. Having on while you do other things. I think that actually explains a lot about the way Japanese tv tends to operate. Very small, independent chunks. A lot of back and forth banter between an ever revolving cast of tarento, just long enough that you come to know them, and be familiar with them, but don't have time to get bored of them.

Either way, as soon as the weather warms up and it stops raining (as it has every day for about 2 weeks now) I am mowing a 6x3 patch of my lawn, laying down a towel, and reading in the sun. I got through about 200 pages today, granted of manga but still a pretty substantial amount of words. I'm getting faster, and having to skip less. I'd almost call myself literate at this point...almost. As long as I don't have to read aloud I'm pretty much golden. I'm very excited to see where I am at the end of my 2 years here.